The Psychology of change…

Written By Anna Kelly

Why Your Resolutions Are Set Up to Fail

Every January we repeat the cycle:
Fresh energy. Big goals. A clean-slate story about who we’ll become.

That early surge feels powerful — the dopamine hit of possibility, the illusion that motivation is enough to rebuild your life.

Then it fades.

Motivation drains.
Old patterns return.
And you quietly decide you’re “inconsistent” or “not disciplined enough.”

But the problem isn’t discipline. But it is you. 

For long-term full systems change, you need to ditch the unstable chemical spikes of resolutions and approach change more sustainably. 

The Science: Why Resolutions Collapse

“New Year, New Me” runs on dopamine.
Dopamine sparks anticipation, not follow-through.
It fuels your fantasy, not your behaviour.

So the pattern repeats:
Big idea → big rush → big crash.

When you launch into an intense new change - a massive workout regimen, a drastic diet, an 80-hour work week - our brain doesn't see "growth." It sees threat.
A hyper-stressed, overstimulated nervous system shunts all resources away from the prefrontal cortex (your logic and planning center) and into survival mode.

In survival mode, your system is designed to conserve energy and choose the safest, most rehearsed path. New habits feel unsafe. Your body perceives the effort as a threat to its equilibrium.

That’s why your "willpower" collapses. It’s not a moral failing; your biology cannot sustain threat-level effort.

This is why sustainable change requires regulation, repetition, and the unglamorous grunt work Goggins talks about — the discipline you build when the feeling is gone.

Before Anything Else: Do You Actually Want It?

Most people don’t fail at goals — they choose the wrong ones.

Before you commit to anything this year, ask the real question:

Do I genuinely want this, or am I scared to let the idea go?

People cling to goals out of expectation, identity, comparison, or fear of quitting — not because the goal aligns with who they are becoming.

A misaligned goal is a biological dead end. Your nervous system won’t invest energy into something that doesn’t match your values.  You can plan, grind, and push — but the result will always feel hollow.

Letting go of an outdated goal isn’t failure.  Chasing one you don’t want is.

Alignment first. Direction second. Effort third.

Because all the grunt in the world can get you to a finish line —
but if the finish line isn’t aligned with your values, it won’t change you.

PS in practice

1. Regulate first.
 A stressed brain can’t choose clearly or follow through.

2. Choose goals that match your values and desired trajectory.
 If it isn’t aligned, you won’t sustain it. (see values based goalsetting)

3. Build systems, not declarations.
 Habits stick when they’re anchored to existing patterns.

4. Do the grunt work.
 Consistency isn’t personality — it’s conditioning.

5. Lower the intensity. Raise the frequency.
 Small, boring repetitions create neuroplasticity.

6. Stop chasing dopamine highs.
They excite you, but they don’t change you. Your nervous system rewires through steady, predictable repetition — not bursts of hype. Forget the cheap rewards of ticking off achieving just anything, and focus on the grunt work that actually shifts your biology and who you become.

The PS Point

You don’t need another January promise.

What you need is to get honest with yourself about what you actually want, why you want it, and what it’s really going to take. And no, it probably won’t  feel glamorous or “vision board worthy” 

Stop sitting around waiting for the “right moment” to change.
There is no magical day where everything suddenly clicks.
You don’t need a new year — you need new behaviours.

And let me be even clearer:
Motivation won’t save you.
Those dopamine highs you get from planning and imagining?
They disappear the minute things get uncomfortable.
You cannot build a new life on chemical spikes.

Real change means doing the work to shift your biology —
interrupting the patterns you’ve rehearsed for years,
and rebuilding the neural pathways that run your habits.

It’s repetitive.
It’s boring.
It’s unsexy.
And yes, it’s exactly what works.

Change sticks when you act your way into it — not when you write a list, light a candle, or wait for inspiration.

Change isn’t something you announce.
It’s something you prove — to your own brain — through your behaviour, day after day after day.

So this New Year, skip the resolutions.
Do the work that actually rewires you

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Ready to stop wishing and start rewiring?

The fearLESS Evolution is your 12-month blueprint for real behavioural and biological change.
Not motivation. Not hype.

Over 12 months you can work with Pettina to get the systems, tools, accountability and grounded neuroscience that actually move your life forward.

If you’re done with the yearly reset cycle — this is where real change begins.

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Anna Kelly
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The Dopamine Chase